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Darkness Is Not A Thing

Dementor

Dementor (Photo credit: ap.)

In 1998 I wrote this poem when I was in the midst of my worst depression ever:

Darkness seeps in

Through cracks and under doors

Slowly drips down windows

Obscuring everything

It rises and I choke

On its acrid smokiness

Now logically I know that darkness has no substance in itself. It is just the absence of light. But this is what depression feels like. It is like some dark entity has taken possession of me. Not literally, like a demon, but it sure feels like it. If you are a fan of Harry Potter, then the feeling is like when the Dementors tried to suck the soul out of his body. They literally convinced him that there was nothing good in the world at all. If his other self, the one who had come from the future, hadn’t rescued him, he would have been lost forever.

Perhaps this “other self”, could be a metaphor for the Higher Self, the part of us that knows that this darkness and despair is not real. The one who can help us if we will let it. The one that sends the magical Patronus (animal protector) who charges to the

English: Harry Potter's deer-shaped patronus E...

English: Harry Potter’s deer-shaped patronus Español: El patronus de Harry Potter Français : Le patronus de Harry Potter prenant le forme d’un cerf. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

rescue and restores us to sanity.

Of course, as with all fairy tales, things are usually not that simple. But they point us towards a truth worth considering: That our illusions are just that, illusions. Depression is not reality. Love and light are reality. Even if we can’t see it all of the time.

I had a strange dream a few nights ago. Someone who I intensely dislike told me that I was not alone. I angrily rejected that. I didn’t trust him. This is not something that this person in real life would have said to me, ever. However, with most dreams the images of those we don’t like are “borrowed” from the outer world to make a point. The man in my dream was a part of me, an unconscious ally. He was letting me know that I have more strength than I think I do.

Anyone else have any thoughts about this? Is there a part of you that knows that even in the blackest despair that it is not real? Please share.

My wife reading in bed. And it wasn't because ...

My wife reading in bed. And it wasn’t because she was trying to get to sleep. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I found this excellent interview with Amy Simpson, who is a Christian mental health advocate and speaker. She has written a book called  Troubled Minds, a book to guide the Church in better understanding how to help those struggling with mental illness. Here is an excerpt from this interview done by   from her blog Christ and Pop Culture. The context is about Rick Warren‘s son who committed suicide recently due to a depressive illness. Rick Warren is the author of the best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life:

Pastor Warren’s statement indicated that “only those closest” to the family knew of his son’s story and struggle. Why do people’s struggles with mental illness continue to be hidden and is this even more the case in the Church context?

Mental illness is stigmatized in our culture. We carry old, superstitious ideas about it. People fear mental illness and marginalize those with mental illnesses in a way they don’t treat people affected by other forms of disease. We tend to treat mental illness as either a source of entertainment, subject matter for jokes, a source for romantic notions, or something to be terrified of. We don’t tend to think of mental illness as what it is—that is, illness with biological and environmental causes just like a lot of other diseases. We tend to think that if someone has a mental illness or receives treatment for mental health, that person is somehow compromised or perhaps unable to live a productive life.

Within the Church, we add our own layers of stigma. Many churches assume all mental illness is spiritual in nature and reflects a spiritual weakness or lack of faith. Some churches assume all mental illness is caused by spiritual forces like demon possession and ignore the overwhelming evidence for the biological factors involved. Some churches assume mental illness is meted out as punishment for sin and anyone who exhibits an ongoing problem with mental illness must have an ongoing problem with sin that’s the real cause. So they point fingers at suffering people and blame them for their illnesses. Some church people are simply so horrified and offended by the idea that mental illness could happen to them and their own families, they keep their distance. They marginalize people with mental illness to make themselves feel better, convincing themselves they’re different and it couldn’t happen to them.

In this kind of environment, who wants to speak up and admit to mental illness if it means being kicked out of the church, being treated like a second-class or third-class citizen, or being subject to insistence that the church can pray the problem away or that the solution is found in simply having more faith or praying more? Rather than subject themselves to this kind of treatment, most people would prefer to stay silent. Many people are also afraid of risk to their jobs, their relationships, and their reputations—so they keep quiet.

This is a great tragedy made even more tragic by the reality that in any given year, more than 25 percent of adults in the United States suffer from a diagnosable mental illness of some kind.

You can read the rest of this at:

www.patheos.com/blogs/christandpopculture/2013/04/overcoming-mental-illness-stigma-in-the-church-an-interview-with-amy-simpson

Explaining medication usage to the patient

Explaining medication usage to the patient (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Getting the Best Care You Can

Choosing a good psychiatrist can be a tricky job, especially when you are in the midst of a crisis. But it is important to find a doctor that you are comfortable with and that you can work with, otherwise you may not get the care you deserve.

Do you suffer from depression, bipolar disorder or other mental disorders? If so you are not alone. Many people suffer along with you. But how do you know if you need professional help? Feeling overwhelmed and unable to function in your daily life is a good sign that you may need help. Reducing stress and getting counseling may help, but if your symptoms are severe then you may want to see a psychiatrist.

Note: If you are in crisis, such as feeling suicidal get help from a psychiatrist right away. You may need to check yourself into a hospital to get the proper care.

How to Know if You Have a Good Doctor

Unfortunately not all doctors are created equal. Here are the characteristics of a true professional:

A good doctor will listen to you. If he rushes you or spends more time filling out your prescription slips than talking with you, you need to find someone else.

He should be willing to discuss options and address your concerns about medications. If you are worried about side-effects or the potential for addiction, then you should feel comfortable about bringing these issues up.

The doctor-patient relationship should be one of partnership. He may be an expert in his field, but you are the expert on yourself. If your symptoms don’t match his treatment plan then you may have to find someone else (it helps if you do some research on your own to find out what the proper treatment is for your condition).

If a particular medication is not helping you, you should be able to talk to your doctor about making changes. (Bear in mind though that some medications, such as antidepressants, can take up to several weeks to be effective).

Note: There are a lot of GP ‘s who are willing to dispense psychiatric drugs. My personal feeling is that this is unwise. Only a professional psychiatrist is qualified to diagnose and to treat mental disorders. Also not everyone who is mildly depressed needs medication.

Getting the Most out of Your Visit

Bring a list of all your current medications and dosages, including non-psychiatric drugs. Include past medications, and if you have had any allergic reactions or side-effects with them.Also bring a list of past medical history, including hospitalizations.

Tell your doctor about all of your symptoms even if you think that they are not important or you think you can handle them on your own. Many people are misdiagnosed because the doctor is not given the proper information.

Ask questions such as “What is my diagnosis? What are the side-effects of my medications? Are they addictive?”

Note: There are some medications that can cause withdrawal symptoms, such as certain antidepressants. However the clinical definition of addiction means having to take more and more to get the same effect, in other words abusing your medications. There is no abuse potential with antidepressants, even though you may experience withdrawal symptoms when you go off of it. However tranquilizers and sleeping pills can be abused so it is a good idea to be cautious with them.

If you are uncomfortable with taking a particular medication, ask for alternatives. For instance if you are concerned about addiction to sleeping pills or tranquilizers, there are non-addictive medications available that have the side effect of sedation.

Note: If you are in a crisis you may not be able to apply all these steps. If this is so, it would be a good idea to bring in a trusted friend or family member to advocate for you.

After Your Visit

Educate yourself about your medications and side-effects. The doctor may not have time to discuss every side-effect that could happen. Read the information sheets that comes with your prescriptions. You may also want to talk with your pharmacist, who may be more familiar with side-effects than your doctor.

Learn more about your illness. Again your doctor may not have time to explain it in detail. Remember that educating yourself about your illness makes it easier to to get the proper care. You can make a note of your symptoms and take that information to your doctor.

Remember that the quality of health care that you receive is up to you. Following these suggestions can help you get the best care possible.

If you are interested in some of my personal experiences with Psychiatrists then click on these three links: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

English: My turtle ZuZu(red slider) taking my ...

English: My turtle ZuZu(red slider) taking my snail Garry for a ride :) ) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: The white-lipped snail (Cepaea horten...

English: The white-lipped snail (Cepaea hortensis). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I used to think that I was like a turtle when I saw others race by me. But I realize now that the turtles are racing by me, so I guess I am a snail. A snail who would love to hitch a ride on a turtle.

The main reason why I am a snail is that I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I had to quit my job. I can’t even drive anymore because I was too tired and I got into accidents. Even shopping is difficult, and I rarely do a full grocery trip.

I am doing something positive with my blog. I pretty much lost my purpose to live when I quit my job. Doing this blog is a lifesaver for me. However it is frustrating to not be able to do more. I would like to earn a living with my writing. I do have the talent, but I am simply too exhausted to do much with it.

The other problem I have is that it takes forever to do anything and my brain is so foggy that I make simple mistakes. My spelling ability has gone completely out the window. I used to be a good speller but now I have trouble even spelling simple words. My grammar is bad, too. Don’t ask me to diagram a sentence! Basically without word and grammar check I would be lost.

I am trying to push myself to do more but basically the only way I can do that is by taking baby-steps. It is hard because I am finally tapping into my writing ability and I feel motivated to see how far I can take it.  I know there are writing opportunities out there even if I don’t have a formal education. I am thinking of starting a separate blog to do book reviews. But I do not want to start something that I can’t finish. I don’t have the reading comprehension or the memory that I used to have. Maybe I could write down notes while I am reading.

But just because I am a snail that doesn’t mean that I can’t do something. So I guess I’ll keep creeping along and hopefully that will take me somewhere.

"cognito ergo banana"

“cognito ergo banana” (Photo credit: striatic)

My dad sent me this chuckler. Enjoy!

 

My Travel Plans for  2013

I have been in  many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You  have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I  hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They  don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips  there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.

I would like to  go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical  activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go,  and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only  when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I  go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favorite places to be  is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!  At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent,  and I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it  is very wet and damp there.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART!

Today is one of  the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year. You can do your bit by  remembering to send this e-mail to at least one unstable person. My job is  done!

Life is too short for negative drama and petty things. AMEN!
So  laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly. Well that forgiveness part is  up to you!

So from one unstable person to another… I hope everyone is  happy in your head – we’re all doing pretty well in  mine!

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Since this is Mental Health Awareness Month I”ve decided to gather some information and resources. First off, I am doing a shameless promotion for the organization that I used to work for, Mental Health America. In my neck of the woods they have a homeless assistance program, psychiatric care, therapy groups and a program for teens and young adults. They also have a peer-run mental health center, which is where I used to work. Not all locations have this, but those that don’t often have support groups in the community. You can find a location in your area here.

Here is a list of resources, taken from their website:

Need more Info?

There is more information on resources and what they are doing for Mental Health Awareness Month here.

Next up is NAMI, or the National Alliance on Mental Illness.  This organization’s main focus is to provide support for the family and friends of someone who is diagnosed with a mental illness. However in my area they have started support groups for mental health consumers as well. They are also an advocacy organization and they lobby the government for better mental health care. Here is a list of their services from their website:

nami_alex2

nami_alex2 (Photo credit: amcmillensliqua)

NAMI HelpLine
The Information HelpLine is an information and referral service which can be reached by calling 1 (800) 950-NAMI (6264), Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.- 6 p.m., EST or by email at info@nami.org
Education, Training and Peer Support Center
NAMI State Organizations and local NAMI Affiliates offer an array of free education and support programs for individuals, family members, providers and the general public. These include Family-to-Family, Peer-to-Peer, NAMI Support Group, In Our Own Voice and more.
State and Local NAMIs
NAMI is the foundation for hundreds of NAMI State Organizations, NAMI Affiliates and volunteer leaders who work in local communities across the country to raise awareness and provide essential and free education, advocacy and support group programs.
Discussion Groups
Browse through hundreds of NAMI’s interactive group forums. With topics ranging from illness management, to job-hunting, to relationships, it’s never been easier to connect with others who’ve shared your lived experience.
Social Networks
Connect with NAMI through Social Media Channels on Facebook and Twitter or NAMI’s network for young adults, Strength of Us.
NAMI on Campus
NAMI on Campus provides information and resources to support students living with mental health conditions and to empower them to take action on their campuses.
Veterans & Military Resource Center
NAMI is proud to provide the following resources for veterans and active duty military members, as well as their families, friends, and advocates.
Multicultural Action Center
The Multicultural Action Center focuses on eliminating disparities in mental health care for diverse communities and offers help and hope to individuals of diverse backgrounds.
NAMI FaithNet
NAMI FaithNet is a network of NAMI members and friends dedicated to promoting caring faith communities and promoting the role of faith in recovery for individuals and families affected by mental illness.
Missing Persons Support
Resources and support for locating missing persons with mental illness.
NAMI Legal Support
The NAMI Legal Center provides lawyer referrals as a service to our members and the general public.
 
 
These are just a couple of organizations that can help. I am planning on making this a series because I would be writing a very long post if I want to include every organization!
 
Before you go I want to remind anyone who hasn’t seen my first post in this series to take a look.

 

United States Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration - A Life in the Community for Everyone: Behavioral Health is Essential to Health, Prevention Works, Treatment is Effective, People Recover
Presidential Proclamation—May 2013 is National Mental Health Awareness Month

President Obama calls upon citizens, government agencies, organizations, health care providers, and research institutions to raise mental health awareness and continue helping Americans live longer, healthier lives. For many of the tens of millions of Americans who are living with a mental health issue, getting help starts with a conversation; talking about it with someone they trust and consulting with a health care provider.

Prejudice and discrimination often create a barrier to people seeking help. The President highlights that we as a nation need to make sure people know that “asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is a sign of strength.” Additionally, with the Affordable Care Act, insurers may not deny coverage based on pre-existing conditions and will expand behavioral health issue benefits for 62 million Americans. The Administration has made unprecedented commitments to improve mental health care in America, and resources are available to those who need them.

You can find nearby treatment through SAMHSA‘s Treatment Referral line at 1-800-662-4357 (HELP). This toll-free service provides round-the-clock information confidentially on where to go for help on prevention, treatment, and recovery issues related to mental illness or substance use disorders (assistance available in English and Spanish). Similarly, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) provides free, confidential, immediate round-the-clock assistance to people in crisis. Both lines are open to all Americans—including service members, veterans, and their families—365 days a year.

Heed the President’s call and use the month of May to raise mental health awareness.

Become a SAMHSA Facebook Fan! Follow SAMHSA on Twitter! Subscriber to SAMHSA's YouTube Channel! View SAMHSA's latest photos on Flickr! Subscribe to our New Publications RSS Feed! Visit the SAMHSA Dialogue Blog Publications   |   SAMHSA News   |   Update My Profile   |   Unsubscribe   |   Contact Us
United States Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration 1 Choke Cherry Road  |  Rockville, MD 20857  |  1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727)  |  http://www.samhsa.gov  |  Privacy

SAMHSA is a public health agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Its mission is to reduce the impact of substance abuse and mental illness on America’s communities.

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Prescription placebos used in research and pra...

Prescription placebos used in research and practice (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

How many of you have heard the rumor that antidepressant medications are no better than placebos?  Unfortunately a lot of people pass this along without actually having seen what the research really says. A great article in the April 2013 issue of Scientific American Mind“When Pretending is the Remedy” explains the placebo effect and also why you should not ditch your antidepressants if you have a serious mental illness. Here is an excerpt:

In 2002 Harvard psychologist Irving Kirsch found results consistent with the idea that the power of placebos is evident mostly when improvement is subjective, as it is in mental illness. In a meta-analysis of 47 trials of six of the most widely prescribed antidepressants, Kirsch and his colleagues discovered that 82 percent of the improvement in mood, as measured by a standard questionnaire, could be duplicated by giving patients a placebo pill instead of an antidepressant. In a similar study published in 2008, Kirsch and his colleagues found that the only people in whom antidepressants worked significantly better than placebo pills were patients with the most severe cases. He reached a controversial conclusion: “Unless your patient is extremely depressed, you should not be prescribing an anti-depressant.”

In other words, you don’t need heavy-duty psychiatric medication if you are not seriously ill. Most mild cases of depression get better on their own anyway. Also counseling and exercise are good options as well. I have been concerned for a long time about the push to put every depressed person on psychotropic drugs that can be hard to get off of.  Usually the depression is situational, not biological. Plus it trivializes true mental illness and makes it hard to explain to friends and family that we need them. But for those of us who have a serious mental illness, it is not a good idea to stop our medications.

(Note: In order to view this article on-line you have to buy access to it. They also have this under a different title than the print version so don’t get confused by that. Since the majority of the article is not about mental illness, then you may or may not feel it is worth it to buy that issue. However it is a great magazine to keep up with the latest psychological discoveries.)

Here are some other articles from Science Daily that are very interesting:

Antidepressants linked with increased risks after surgery

Posted: 29 Apr 2013 01:46 PM PDT

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) – among the most widely prescribed antidepressant medications – are associated with increased risk of bleeding, transfusion, hospital readmission and death when taken around the time of surgery, according to a new analysis.

Sniffing out schizophrenia

Posted: 29 Apr 2013 10:05 AM PDT

Scientists have developed an innovative method for diagnosing schizophrenia by collecting neural tissues from the nose. The finding could lead to early detection of the disease, giving rise to vastly improved treatment overall.

Antichrist with the devil, from the Deeds of t...

Antichrist with the devil, from the Deeds of the Antichrist (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello, y’all. Sorry I have been away for a few days. I got into a pattern of mine of obsessing about things I cannot change and I was completely consumed to the point of not sleeping, forgetting to eat and to take my medications. I am past that now mainly because I recognize that I have no control over people, places or things. The only thing that I can control are my own reactions or rather actions. Instead of boring you all over again with that situation, which I have addressed ad infinitum in other posts, I want to talk about how not being in control can actually be a good thing.  It helps us to remember that we need to rely on God, rather than on ourselves and/or others. It is an unfortunate fact that even your best friend is likely to let you down once in a while.

I have been thinking a great deal about this issue and how I see it playing out in the political arena. I want to warn people that I am a liberal after many years of indecision between the two parties and I have always just voted for who I thought was the best candidate. However my mind has changed primarily because of what I feel are religious extremists trying to control the Republican party. What I have to say is not an attack on Christianity in general, nor do I think all Republicans are like this. Furthermore, I realize that my positions on certain things could offend others. However, I want to make things clear from the outset that I am only stating my opinions and that others are free to disagree as long as they are not abusive about it.

I wrote this passage on a blog forum and I want to share this with my readers. Again I am talking about a certain subset of the religious right, the ones who want to spread fear and paranoia:

I see a lot of truth in what you say. While there is a danger in stereotyping the conservative Christians, there is the fact that a lot of them behave just as you say [ being self-righteous and trying to impose their ideas on everyone else] Of course, it is usually the loudest and most obnoxious ones that get our attention. The fact is that there is a culture of paranoia among these people, and I have to wonder if it has to do with ultimately wanting to control the uncontrollable. The world is a scary place and it helps some people to believe that if they do X,Y and Z then they will be spared the evils of the world. Ultimately I believe that this is why there is such hysteria regarding gay marriage. While it may be true that some people simply disagree with it purely on principle, there are many that do hate and fear these people for no rational reason at all. This is why this is so disturbing.and why I feel I must oppose this point of view. Even with those who are against it with no malice in their hearts, I still think that they really could look at the issue with a little more understanding and compassion than they do. There is no good reason to keep people who love each other apart.

I read an article online about the psychology of prejudice and they talked about how certain people are uncomfortable with the idea of ambiguity. They see everything as black and white because the idea of having a gray area cannot  be tolerated. it generates fear. I  wonder if this might have been an adaptive response when mankind lived in tribal societies. They certainly may have had a good reason to not automatically trust strangers from other tribes, especially if they were competing for the same resources. The problem is that the world is much smaller now and we are constantly bumping into people who are different. It is easy to demonize people who are not like us.

Ultimately we have to consider that when normally rational people become hysterical over the supposed ‘threat” of the other, that it simply has to do with the fear of losing control. The boundaries that we considered that kept us safe are crumbling, and we don’t know what to do with it. It is especially hard when we consider that there are real threats in the world. We can’t control a hurricane, and to a certain extent we can’t control terrorist attacks either. Evil abounds and we keep our guns near. I think it is especially scary for people because mankind used to be isolated in their own unique territories and we weren’t always aware of every bad thing that was happening in the rest of the world. Now we have news running 24/7 telling us in excruciating detail about every bad thing that is happening worldwide. When it seems like things are getting worse in the world, and that the end-times seem near, it is often simply because we are more aware of what is going on everywhere. The unreasonable hysteria of the religious right that gun control equals taking their guns away entirely, can be traced to the fear that without guns, social order will simply fall apart. This is fueled by racism and the very legitimate fear of terrorism. But ultimately the religious right has very simplistic solution to the problems in the world and this is why ultimately knee-jerk fear reactions will fail. We simply can’t always be in control and as long as we try to be in control then there is the very real possibility that we will become the ones out of control, jumping at every shadow and attacking others without cause as with the whole “kill (or deport) all the Muslims” philosophy dictates. We have to make peace with the fact that we can’t control every bad thing in the world. We can make ourselves as safe as we can be and often we are safer than we think we are anyway. Despite everything we are in much safer part of the world than many other places.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Again if you want to comment, do so civilly. Do not call me a muslim, marxist, socialist, communist or minion of the Antichrist. No hate speech against gays or muslims. Also no profanity. Anyone engaging in this behavior will find that their comments will not be posted and they will be banned from posting on this site. Thank you for your consideration.

One more thing, I do realize that there are those who are having trouble processing what happened in Boston. There is free help available, see here. 

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Reblogged from Dancing with Fireflies:

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When the attacks start you try to tell yourself lies, something to make it feel better. " They are only words, I know it's not true." But you hate yourself for taking it, wish you could say something that would make the words stop.  There's nothing you can say, everything you try just makes it worse. When you fight back, it just gets uglier.

Read more… 691 more words

Very good thoughts on verbal abuse..
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